24 rules for women
by BrookenRachel
Summary: “Oh right, so I walked into the bathroom this morning and the toilet seat was up. And its bad enough I have to put my ass on the toilet but I really don’t want to touch it. Especially after last night.” Humorous short stories, based on the rules from men.
1. Toilet Seat

Disclaimer: I own nothing, credit Mark Schwahn and whoever wrote these rules.

Authors Note: So I know I've already got a rules story going, but this one is different so I hope you enjoy. There are 24 rules so there will be around 24 chapters. Please read and review, I would appreciate it. And if you haven't checked out my other ff's please do so. These rules are from a man's point of view.

ENJOY

**1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, and you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.**

Lucas was sound asleep laying in bed, having a wonderful dream. Him and Brooke had partied all night long with Nathan, Haley, Peyton and Rachel. It had been a typical night on the town for 6 college students. He was jolted out of sleep by his girlfriends yelling. Which she soon paired with shaking him.

"Lucas, Lucas. Get your ass up!" she said while shaking him awake.

"What the fuck Brooke" Oh shit he thought but it was to late

"What did you just say to me?" she questioned already knowing the answer

" Shit, No no im sorry I was tired and not thinking im" but he was cut off

"Don't you ever say that to me ever again, okay, okay"

Great it was early, he was tired and hangover and now Brooke was mad, and that was never a good thing.

"Okay well were just gonna say that it was because your not feeling well, but you will never do that again, got it" Brooke concluded

"Yeah, im sorry, It was a mistake. So why did you wake me up anyway?" Lucas questioned

"Oh right, so I walked into the bathroom this morning and the toilet seat was up. And its bad enough I have to put my ass on the toilet but I really don't want to touch it. Especially after last night."

"What are you getting at Brooke"

"You need to be better about remembering to put the toilet seat down, always!" she said sternly

"Are you for real, you woke me up to tell me that I didn't but the toilet seat down?" Brooke nodded her head. "You are a adult, I need it up you need it down. Why should I always have to put it up? You put it down!"

"That's not how it works Lucas, so get over it and put the damn toilet seat down."

"There is no law or rule Brooke saying that guys have to put down the toilet seat. Guys do it so they don't have to listen to women, but we don't have to. I don't have to." Lucas stated

"You know I bet Nathan and Haley never have this conversation, because Nathan puts the fucking toilet seat down" Brooke screamed

"No they probably never have this conversation because when Nathan is to drunk to remember and FORGETS, Haley dosent make a big deal out of nothing and just puts the damn seat down." Lucas yelled back

"Well if we ever have a son, you better make sure he dose not take after you and he better put the toilet seat down."

"Well if we have a daughter, YOU better make sure our daughter is mature enough that if the toilet seat is up she can put it down all by herself" he said

"You know Brooke here, take the phone book, call a contractor have them build you your own fucking bathroom" Lucas said flinging the phone book at her

"Fine I will, good idea. You better start cutting back on some of your crap, who knows how much this will cost" she smiled and walked down stairs to the phone

But much to Lucas's surprise and dismay Brooke was serious, she called the contractor and many thousands of dollars later they had another bathroom upstairs.


	2. Basketball

Disclaimer: I don't own anything credit Mark Schwahn

Authors Note: So everybody cheer! I am finally updating this story after like a year!

So here it is finally after forever! I hope you enjoy it, don't forget to read and review, give me some feedback. In this chapter and the first one Brooke is over dramatic but I think Brooke can be on the show sometime and I just see her being like that later on in life. And I just look at it as funny, I hope you all do to. And if you haven't yet check out my new one shot; "I want to have your babies"

ENJOY

**1. Sunday Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!**

"What am I supposed to do while your watching sports?" Brooke whined

"Why don't you call Haley and have her come over and hang out with you, or you go over there. I mean Nathan will be here so she will be bored to."

"No I don't want to see Haley." Brooke said stubbornly

"Why don't you want to see Haley?" Lucas questioned

"Because she is being stubborn and im angry at her!" Brooke said matter of factly

"What did she do now."

"I don't want to talk about" Brooke concluded and walked away

"Okay end of that conversation." Lucas said to himself following after Brooke "So what are you going to do then?"

"I don't know that's what I asked you."

"What do you usually do when I watch sports?"

"I usually shop, but some staff person or owner or something at the mall died so its closed today in memory or whatever."

"Um...How about you call Peyton."

"Lucas do you pay no attention I haven't talked to Peyton in like a month."

"Okay then Rachel."

"Rachel is out of town visiting Cooper."

"Then do what you usually do when your bored."

"Um... I think it would kinda be inappropriate to have sex with you with your friends right their." Brooke smirked.

"I meant when Im not here."

"Well I usually just sleep or eat or watch tv."

"Okay you can do that. Bring some food into the bedroom bring a few dvds and just hang."

"What if I get bored doing that. I mean sometimes I don't have the best attention span."

"I've noticed" Lucas mumbled "If you get bored you can come out and watch sports with us, as long as your quiet." Lucas emphasized the last part trying to make it clear

"Okay" Brooke sighed "I guess that would work"

"Im glad you got things figured out." Lucas chuckled placing a kiss on her forehead "Can you get the door?" Lucas asked her after hearing the door belle "I need to put out the rest of the food."

"Fine. God you act like im your slave. Get the door go to Haley's blah blah blah!" Brooke complained all the way to the door.

"Hey Penelope" He smirked, using the name she hated the most

"Nathan, I told you not to call me that." Brooke bit, leaning in to give Nathan a peck on the lips.

"Sorry. So how are you?"

"Fine... Bored, there is nothing..." Brooke started but was interrupted by the door belle again

"God another person, one second." She said holding her finger up to Nathan's face, glaring at him when he bit at it as she walked away

"Brookie, how is my Cookie"

"Shut up Jake, Lucas and Nathan are in the living room."

"Well someone is PMSing" another voice spoke

"Tim why are you here, I don't even think Lucas likes you."

"He doesn't but Nathan invited me."

"Great. Go on in guys." Brooke urged then shut the front door.

"Lucas im going to the bedroom, have fun watching your football game."

"Basketball." He yelled

"Whatever." She said slamming the bedroom door

"She's going to bed, does that mean she's going to get naked or be in her underwear or something?!?!"

"That's my girlfriend you idiot." Lucas slapped him on the head rolling his eyes

"Yeah Tim, simmer down" Nathan laughed

vwvwvwv

"Lucas im bored." Brooke said coming out of the bedroom 40 minutes later.

"Brooke im trying to watch the game." Lucas said frustrated

"I haven't done anything." She said angrily walking over in front of Lucas

"Brooke Move." Lucas yelled

"Excuse me?" Brooke said raising an eyebrow

"Ooo your in trouble." the guys laughed

"What I meant to say is can you please move over a little so I can see the television."

"See just ask nice." Brooke said sitting down on his lap

"How much longer" Brooke asked a little while later

"Im not sure, not much" Lucas said frustrated

"Well who's winning."

"The bulls their ahead way to much for L.A. even to think about coming back."

"Then why are you still watching?"

"Because something could happen."

"But you said that there is no way Lakers could win"

"Their isn't but something could still happen." Lucas said quickly trying to watch the game and answer Brooke's questions at the same time.

"Lucas I don't feel good."

"Then go lay down."

"I want to be with you." She whined

"Later"

"Why not now."

"Brooke" he said angrily

"Sorry...God" She sighed, and started rapping her fingers on the coffee table

"Brooke stop its getting annoying." he yelled

"Geez Lucas you won't let me talk, you won't let me move. What the hell can I do. I mean god dammit you already know who is going to win what is the big fuckin deal."

"Calm down guys." Nathan started

"Shut up" They both said in unison

"Okay. I'll just look at the tv." he said turning back to the game

"Why can't you just chill out" Brooke questioned

"Why can't you just shut the fuck up. So I can watch my god damned game" he yelled throwing his hands up in the air

"Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. I cannot believe you just said that to me. You want to watch your 'god damn game' so fuckin much well. I want to see you watch it now" She screamed picking up big brass paper weight from the coffee table and throwing it at the television set, giving a satisfied smile when the screen shattered. "Watch your fucking game now."

"I think its time for us to go." Jake said quickly getting up and dragging Tim out with him.

"Dude I think Brooke's going to kill him." Tim laughed before being pulled out the door

"Yeah Bro I think im going to go. You two be nice. And I will call in like an hour make sure your both still alive." Nathan said before following Jake and Tim out the door.

"I cannot believe you just did that. I mean I was watching the game and you just ruined our television set."

"Boo Hoo, your game was pointless nothing was happing. And you can just buy us a new television set." She screamed slapping him across the face

"Dammit Brooke stop being like this."

"Like what huh?" She questioned raising her hand to slap him again but he grabbed her hand before he could "Let me go"

"No"

"Yes"

"No" He said more forcefully, pushing her hand down somehow causing her to stumble forward. Her lips crashed on his, cloths flying everywhere. It was rough, and rushed, both needing the other one.

"Im still pissed at you." He said after they were finished

"Im still pissed at you to." She said sternly

"You want to go again."

"Definitely" She giggled rolling on top of him


End file.
